My adventure in paradise is about to come to an end. As many of you know, back in June I passed through Denver on my way to Pa. In Denver I went through the physical/mental/dental exams to return to Antarctica. Passed. Yes, I'm leaving this tropical (and equatorial) Pacific isle to return to the harshest continent. At this point, I suspect many of you have decided that, yes, I am indeed certifiably nuts. May be so. A number of you thought I was nuts the first time I went to the South Pole not to mention when I went the second time and stayed a year. Still . . . paradise isn't all it's cracked up to be. The island is about three miles long, maybe one half mile at the widest and about as flat as a pool table. Fifteen months of temperatures never below 74F - and usually in the 80's or higher - never a cool breeze, never a cool morning or evening, never a day with more that about 13 hours of sunlight, just one monotonous, very humid, very hot day after another. Sweating comes easily to me and I've done it very well every day. Someone mentioned that the air conditioning in our quarters had gone down during the hottest part of the day. I can't tell the 'hottest' part of the day - it's all too hot for me. I love scuba diving, hanging out with all the critters, fish, turtles, rays and eels, even the sharks. If not for the diving, I would have been long gone long ago, a sentiment expressed by several people I spoke with on my way out. A half day of diving, even the occasional full day in a week, isn't enough to make up the rest of the time here, particularly those hours between 7:30 AM and 4:30 PM, commonly known as work. The food, pay, phone, TV and Internet systems are all poor, but none of those are the main reason I'm leaving. It's the operation. I told someone I didn't want to work for the DoD, Department of the Defense. In fairness, I should amend that; I don't want to work for this DoD contractor. I work, make that worked, for Chugach Management Services, a Native American Alaskan company that provides logistical operations on installations. Did I mention that we pay Alaska about $30-40 a week? For Alaskan companies, the employees, not the employers, are the ones that pay the unemployment. That's money I'll never see. I also pay social security and Medicare or 'caid, whatever. So much for tax-free pay. There are many things that weren't quite what we were led to believe when we signed on. Chugach is a subcontractor to Kwajalein Range Services (KRS) which runs the entire missile test range operation. Consequently, when I was checking out the other day, I had to go to both the Chugach finance office and the KRS finance office. Per the instructions I was given., I went to Chugach first. They were closed. Staff meetings. Meetings are very popular and very frequent. The fourth time I went by, the meeting was over . . . but the person that was supposed to process me out was off for the day. Eventually someone looked over my paper work and signed the checkout sheet, as about ten more people in ten more places had to do before I could be issued orders to leave Kwajalein. I was leaving, orders or not. I bought the ticket, I was getting on the plane. My checkout sheet didn't require me to check out of the tool room, despite the fact that, as a tradesman, I had several hundred dollars of government-owned tools. I could have shipped all that back to the States with my personal belongings. I didn't. I managed to collect all my signatures by afternoon and went to my room to check my airline reservation on-line. The Internet was down. It usually is several times a week - or even a day. The same goes for the TV programs, particularly during movies in the evening. As I sit here writing, the Armed Forces Radio station is constantly off and on. After I got the seating I wanted on the flights, I went to the Adult Recreation Center, ARC, to print out a copy since the public computers there are linked to a printer. DoD regulations prohibit use of government (job) computers for personal business. The ARC is scheduled to open at 5 PM. At 5:30, it still wasn't open. This is all business-as-usual on Kwaj. Imagine trying to complete a job, a project, while encountering the type of obstacles I did checking out. Wrong instructions, wrong material, equipment that doesn't work, frustration at every turn. It once took me two hours seeing three people in three different buildings to get a can of paint. Cooperation, communication, efficiency, coordination, competence are only found in the dictionary. If something is logical, it probably won't happen. The American contract workers have a saying, "It's not logical, it's Kwajical." It's said often and not in jest. Those saying it mean it. It's all Kwajical. I'm putting this together while I wait for my Continental Micronesia flight (and now, in Honolulu waiting for my flight to Pittsburgh). Continental has a monopoly from Kwaj and they use it. This trip, one-way to Pittsburgh, is $1200. A one-way ticket from Kwaj to Honolulu is listed at $800. It's not cheap to travel from Kwaj. The flight from Kwaj leaves at 6 PM and arrives in Honolulu about 2:30 AM local time, long before any of the flights to the mainland. Consequently, on arrival most people get a room even though it's only good until around noon. For about $100. Kwajical. On my way back from my vacation, I went to the terminal for my flight to Kwaj. My very first flight to Kwaj taught me to check flight information before leaving the hotel. That time I got to the airport 2 hours early for the 7 AM flight only to be told it was delayed 5 hours. After confirming my return-from-vacation flight - twice, I went to the airport in the early morning. When I got there, the flight was indeed on time, but not stopping on Kwaj. A missile was being launched. I had to wait two days for the next flight. Kwajical. If you have to be stranded, Honolulu is a pretty good place, although expensive. So I'm movin' on. There are things I'll miss, but there aren't many. Certainly I'll miss the diving. From what I'm told, I'll probably never dive as cheaply. Oh well, I hope I never work as cheaply, either. I'll miss a number of the people I met, particularly some of the Marshallese. They were hard workers, smart, and generally a pleasure to work with. I gave several of them things I decided not to take home. Most of my work clothes, most in such condition that they were only good for work, some things I bought that I have duplicates of at home. A rod and reel. A fold-up canvas chair. Nothing of any great value. In each instance, they were so appreciative, you'd have thought I gave them gold. Barring any unforeseen delays - 3 of my previous flights to or from Kwaj have been delayed - I'll be in Pa. Aug 1, unpack and then start the process in reverse all over again. On Aug. 16 I fly to Denver for several days of processing and training. If all goes according to schedule, we fly to New Zealand and then McMurdo Station on Aug. 24. The weather may affect those plans. Bein' stranded in New Zealand, on the company tab, would beat being stranded in Hono. A small number of people go in this time of year. It's called Winfly, Winter Fly, to Mctown, McMurdo as it's called. My first contract is just until early Oct. when the main body of people start arriving. There are usually about 1,200 people there during the summer which lasts until late Feb./ early Mar. Some time in Oct., I'll start a project to replace heat tapes on the water and sewer lines for the entire station with the exception of some areas that were recently built or rebuilt. My contracts run until mid Oct. 2010. This is my last blog from Kwaj, aka Paradise. Once I'm on the Ice again, I'll try to set up a new and hopefully better addressed site. I'll let you know when I do. See Ya